In a statement Evolution issued to the Bush Administration scolding them for destroying her work in the Alaskan tundra, she included this unintentionally revealing comment: “And I would like you to know that I am planning some big developments.  Don’t think you’re so big.” 

With specie extinction at an all-time high, Evolution has had to make increasing compromises to make room for Technology.  The human race as proven more and more able to extinguish Evolution’s hard work, with thousands of hard-earned species biting the dust in demand for wood, herbal extracts, and cuddle-cute pelts.  And as Technology has handed humans the arsenal to ruin Evolution’s attempts, tensions have reached an all-time high

	Above: Tensions between Evolution and Technology have reached an all-time high

According to Wilson High counselor Sally McPhereson, “this kind of thing happens all the time among inevitable outcomes of the complexity of the universe.   One’s more popular than the other, big deal.  But it’s best to leave it them to sort it out.  Perhaps they will grow from this conflict.”

Evolution has recently attempted some passive-aggressive attempts to humiliate Technology in his circle of friends.  Just last week, she hung his boxer-shorts over the doorway to Progress.  When asked, Evolution could only muster up the failed ambiguity, “I dunno.”  Also, a rumor has spread of unknown origins that Technology made out with Mrs. Freedly this week.

But Technology hasn’t idled by.  In fact, he recently taunted Evolution, declaring, “Hell, it takes millions of years for you do jack shit.  I, on the other hand, provide satisfaction in seconds.”  Technology has even walked on Evolution’s territory by creating species of his own in the marketplace.  Just last week, scientists have created a new fish that glows in the dark.  In response, Evolution held up her hand in attitude, defiantly declaring, “Oh no you don’t.”

As Evolution and Technology silently battle it out, Americans can rest assured that they have Destiny on their side.  Unfortunately, Destiny suffers from a mild form of bi-polar disorder.

All is not lost for Evoltuion, however.  As Technology enters her domain, Evolution can hope that he will create a super-potent form of smallpox that that wipes out the human race, and by natural conclusion, himself. 

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