I was disappointed tonight when I turned on the TV and it was all about Kerry winning the democratic primaries.  I couldn't help but feel like America had forgotten me.  Well, I'd like to tell you, America, that I love you anyway!

It takes a big man to say that, in light of being completely overlooked.  I'd like to say I am that big of a man: my wife says it, and Mom used to say it (before she died of a broken heart).  And my kids, oh my wonderful kids: they say I'm great!

And a great man makes great poops.  Just this morning, I flooded the toilet with a huge one that displaced more water than the bowl could handle.  That's like me in a way.  Displacing more water than the bowl of America can handle.

But I love you anyway!

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